I was in a low dark place this week.
It was a dark and rainy night. Really.
It was Monday night. Election night.
Here’s what happened.
Earlier in the day, I’d spoken to a friend who is suffering from chronic pain. It’s been going on for months. They can’t find the cause. She’s exhausted and getting weaker by the day. She’s used to being the rock, the strong one. Now she needs the cavalry to come save her. She has a strong daughter who could help, but my friend apparently hasn’t called for help… “yet”, she said yesterday. We are 3000 miles away. Our friend is in distress and we are powerless.
Then there was that conflict with a friend a few days ago. It left me feeling unsettled and sad. And let’s throw in a dash of loneliness for good measure.
Watching the election results I became aware that I was sinking lower and lower. Maybe you were too. What stood out for me was the signs of division and discord. Not much to be happy about.
Sometimes it just piles up. If I’m a bit tired it can get me down.
As I went to bed I asked myself – How can I climb out of this place?
Recently I’ve been revisiting ‘present moment awareness’. Playing with it at odd moments during my day. Here I was in the depths. I wondered how present moment awareness might help me now.
Here’s what I did as I lay in bed:
I began to observe myself and remembered the phrase… “I am not that”. I am not my mood of depression. I could feel that I was creating some space between me and my turmoil. It was a start.
I become aware of my breathing, noticing the inhale at the tip of my nose, and listening to the sound of my breath inhaling and exhaling.
I noticed the thoughts in my mind and let them go... as another would come up and I’d let that go.
Next thing I knew, I was waking up for a pee. It was the middle of the night.
I went back to sleep with no difficulty.
A good night’s sleep works wonders, doesn’t it?
I woke up at 6:05 feeling ready to meet the challenges of the day.
Have you worked with present moment awareness?
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